Big girl panties

Cravings are NO joke people! 
They're as bossy as my five month old when she demands that we party at 3am. 

V: "Time to parrrrrrrtayy!!"
Me: "Please let this be a nightmare."
V: "Nope.  This is your reality."
Me: I decide at the point the only thing that will get me through the day is a chocolate cake. With 3" of icing. NO exceptions.


Prepping for a bikini competition is not for the weak, or hungry.  It requires a shitload of discipline and strength.  Most days it's hard to stay on track, especially while my family happily devours pints of Ben & Jerry's and pizzas by the pie.  Ok, so they're not doing that, but I feel like it because they're not eating as strict as me, so they may as well be.  I texted my coach and told him I was about to misbehave if he didn't come up with a solution to my what I consider an early death. 

His response, "Be strong and stop obsessing over something that will give you 10 minutes of satisfaction and days of grief."  So effing true but I still hated that he was right, and IS right.  Our cravings come from a place in our body that is deficient in other ways.  If you're not eating whole foods and foods that are good for you in general, your body talks.  Sometimes it screams, sometimes it whispers but mostly it puts you in your place.  It will happily walk you to the junk food cabinet that you've put 7 padlocks on or drive you to the store itself and carry you to the ice cream isle and do its best to pick out your favorite flavor.  What jerks!  Yet, generous and courteous at the same time.

You just have to listen.  I KNOW it's hard.  But you just have to do it if you want certain things.  NO you can't have ho-ho's if you want to lose weight.  Not even one.  Put your big girl panties on and get yourself some discipline dammit!  By the way, I'm totally talking to myself here.  I need to listen to my own advice.  Also, I just finished the last of the Oreos. 

Kidding.  

This is all brand new to me.  It's actually more of a pain in the ass, but, I know what I need to do to get where I want to be.  If I want it bad enough, the more disciplined I will have to be.

 

So, you ask, what do I do to prevent myself from inhaling a large pizza solo or finding the bottom of a Ben & Jerry's ice cream carton?  I remember how STRONG I am and deal with it.  I have learned that drinking a ton of water and stuffing my face with veggies and, most importantly, eating 5 times a day has really curbed my cravings.  I literally set my timer as to when I can eat again.  I will forget because I will have filled that time with something that isn't me shoving food down my gullet, which right now is of utmost importance. Well, that of course, and making sure I keep my kids alive. 

And, I cannot forget this lifesaver.  This has literally glided me to my next meal. I drink two protein shakes a day with lots of yummy stuff in it for my mid day snacks.  I add a little spinach to help me poop.  I love pooping.  Don't act like you don't.  You know it's the highlight of your week.  And if you disagree, evaluate your mood after not going for a week.  That's right.  Hold that shit in. 

Oh my god.  I'm hilarious. 

 

1/2c. liquid egg whites
1/2c. unsweetened Almond Milk
1/4c. blueberries
1/2 banana
1TBSP peanut butter
1/2 scoop chocolate protein powder

add water and ice to consistency of your liking

A trick I learned to get as much water in your body as possible is, whenever you go to take a drink of water, take 10 moderate sips.  That way, every time you drink, you're drinking way more than you normally would.  I think what I need to do is buy a gallon of water and just continue to refill it and make sure I drink that everyday.  They recommend you drink half of your body weight in oz.  My goal is to just keep drinking until I'm no longer hungry.  Or throw up.  Whichever happens first, I know I've drank more than I'm used to. 

 
One thing I've found that has kept me on the right track are progress pictures.  When I want to give up, I look at those and remember how far I've come and how giving up is NOT an option.   

The picture on the left was 8 days after my daughter was born and the picture on the right was on 1/30/16.

There is no destination in my book, only adventures.  I'm not stopping after I step foot on that stage.  This is only the beginning. 

    I love me some Jillian

I'll take a rake massage, please

Snap, Crackle and Pop

What motivates you to step out of your comfort zone?  Is it witnessing someone else stepping out of theirs and feeling inspired?  Do you avoid it like the plague because change is scary?  Are you comfortable in your zone?  Do you believe in the saying 'if it's not broken, don't fix it'?

Change is scary.  It's as scary and uncomfortable as witnessing a house centipede fall out of your laundry as you move it from the floor to the washing machine and then it proceeds to fall on your foot and then take off as if it's ass was on fire.  It then scurries away at ludacris speed into no-mans land never to be found again until you least expect it (but fortunately for you you've decided to never do laundry ever again). 

Comfort zones are the opposite.  They're like a warm, fluffy blanket on a winter morning day when you've woke up late for work. 

You have to eventually get out of bed or that blanket will be your only form of heat. 

I've woken up plenty of times thinking that I'd love to get in better shape because my knees creak more than old wood floors and that I snap, crackle, and pop more than Rice Crispies just by breathing and I already have a headache just by pushing the covers over.  Ah... maybe tomorrow. Blanket quickly returns to previous  position.

Inevitably tomorrow came and it wouldn't stop staring at me!  It was as if it was calling my bluff,  "Ha! I knew it! You lazy ass!"  

You have to find it within yourself to set goals.  Do you have goals?  It's what will take you from point A to point B.  But if you're content, you can stop here.  This blog is clearly not your cup of tea.  This cup of tea comes with a side of  'don't complain if you're not willing to change'. 

No worries, it's complementary.  No charge.  And, you're welcome.

I H.A.T.E.D working out.  See what I did there?  I emphasized the word 'hate'.  Strong word, I know.  It deserves said emphasis.  Even the thought of working out made me that much lazier and vomit some days, not necessarily in that order.  I could never shake the thought that I hated working out that much.  I kept myself in my own prison.  Here's why:  I didn't know where to start.  I felt lost.  What weights should I start at?  I don't want to feel sore.  Should I lift or use machines?  Will everyone be staring at me because I literally look like I don't know what I'm doing?  Because I don't.  Clearly.  I'm acting like pushing 60lbs with arms similar to that of gummy worms is no big thang.  But, really I want to die because I can barely finish my second rep.  Should I get a gym membership or work out at home?  Will these workout pants bring all the boys to the yard?  If not, I'll just work out at home.  Sweats are fine.  What DVD's should I buy?  Am I doing this right?  Thankfully I'm not doing this in front of a mirror.  How's my form?  Who cares, I'm alone.  I'm not seeing results.  I quit. 

Sound familiar? 

So many people quit too early.  I think it's for one of two reasons.

One: They set a goal too far out and go hard too quickly.  They fizzle out.  Their intentions were good but the follow through was just too much.  You've set the resistance too high on the elliptical and now, only 10 seconds in, you quickly went from "Yea!  Let's do this bro!" to "Whoa, bro, can't feel my legs." 

And it's very obvious.  But... "A" for effort! 

Two: Lack of support.  Everyone needs support.  Like, good sports bra support.  Whether it be a friend, a spouse, a trainer, etc.  They don't need to be your treadmill buddy competing with you to see who can produce more sweat, just someone to keep you accountable and root you on. 

"Hey, man, your face is beat red, you look like a glazed donut and you look seconds away from passing out, but, you're doing a great job!  Keep it up!" 

You need someone that notices gains and compliments you and makes you feel like all this hard work is paying off, even if you don't see it yourself.  Having a support system when you're bettering yourself is important.  There's inspiration everywhere.  You just have to find out what it is that is holding you back from feeling the best you can. 

What would it take for you to take the first step into feeling your best physically? 

I know for me another reason I hated working out was because I knew I didn't even have my diet in check.  Cheeseburgers and chocolate shakes were not helping my cause.  In any fashion. They sped straight to my ass and hips as fast as they flew down my gullet.  And there they slept comfortably.  I loved them so much I could bathe in them.  But, I wasn't mentally ready to change that part of my life, which believe it or not, is the most important piece to feeling your best.  If you haven't given yourself the opportunity to cut out the things that are not good for you (yes, unfortunately, they are things you could eat until comatoast), then that has to be your first step in feeling your best.  How bad do you want it? 

I say find what motivates you.  Who motivates you?  How do you want to feel?  How can you get there?  Who can help you get there?  What vices (that you know are holding you back from reaching your goals) are you willing to label as 'treats' and not 'constants'.  I'll share mine.  Chocolate.  Another food I'd bathe in given the opportunity.  I use chocolate as a treat now.  It used to be a meal. 

"Dinner's done." 
"Oh, I already ate, thanks."  Licks fingers and side of mouth clean. 

Recap. 

What motivates you to change? 
Who motivates (or inspires) you to change? 
What are your wants?  Do those wants get you to feeling your best?
What are you willing to do to reach your goals? 
How good do you think you'll feel once you've reached your goal(s)?
And finally, what's stopping you?  It's that sneaky yet very persuasive comfort zone, isn't it? 

Love,

Nicole

2016

I'm all about honesty.  Here's a truth for you.  I think I've started four blogs now.  Four!  And none of which I had the intention of not following through with. I'm sure they're swimming around the internet somewhere either very lonely or living the good life with the other orphan blogs. 

2016 is a different year for me.  This year I plan to stick to my blogging, among other plans.  I need to make time to finish what I've started (with blog #5, of course) because not only will it hopefully inspire some, but it will keep me accountable and motivated.  Well, that's my plan of course. 

I'll start with a little about me. 

In my 33 years, I've gotten more optimistic, opinionated, strong-willed and sarcastic.  I tell ya like it is and will jump at the opportunity if asked my opinion.  I love sharing my experiences and stories in hopes of someone seeing hope in their own life.  I love to read about random things and will research better than the FBI on some things.  I'm particularly interested in learning more about vaccinations, nutrition, fitness and how to be a better me overall.  I have three young children; 3.5, 2 and almost five months.  My two oldest are boys and my littlest one is a girl.  I've been married for 11 years and together with my husband for 15.  We spent the first eight years of our relationship kid-free and in that time we did almost everything together.  My husband is my best friend.  He's caring, supportive, funny (drier than the Sahara Desert dry humor), smart, and loving.  We met in High School and have only gotten stronger as the years go on.  If we're apart, my first thought is when we'll be together again.  I'm sure it annoys him on a certain level.  I'm ok with that. 

With as much as we have going on, we're always trying to find ways to simplify our lives along with staying the healthiest.  And by healthy what I really mean is making chocolate chip cookies a couple times a week and drinking wine.  Ok, maybe we don't do it that much, but we definitely make room for those necessities in life.  Because, let's be honest, what's a life without the two of those?  Right, none.  With this new found 'let's be healthier' attitude, and with three young ones, sometimes I sit and shake my head and wonder what I just got myself into.  It's hard work juggling working out, eating right and making time for everyone, to include myself which I've recently found to be the most important.  "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  Sounds about right.  Just ask my family.  Before kids we would go out all the time to different restaurants, to the movies whenever we wanted, and just lived a very spontaneous and carefree life.  Then we had kids.  Now I'm lucky to poop every couple days and pee without a hand greeting me under the door.  I live the good life, what can I say.     

It wasn't until after our daughter was born in September that we decided to really get real about our nutrition.  Sure, eating frozen pizzas and making cookies a few times a week won't kill us, but it definitely gets in the way of getting us to feeling the best we can.  I stopped eating dairy thinking that was the cause of my daughter's digestive issues.  Come to find out unfortunately dairy was not the reason, but I started to feel better.  Her issues, thankfully, went away shortly after we overhauled our diet completely.  I'm still working on her eczema. 

At the end of September we went full-on Paleo.  If you're not familiar with Paleo it's basically eating everything that a caveman would have had access to.  That means we ate a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, meat, some nuts and healthy fats.  We didn't eat much processed food to begin with so changing our diet so quickly didn't really affect us the way it has for some people.  I woke up a few weeks into it refreshed and energized.  Remember, I have three YOUNG children.  That was unheard of before.  I would wake up full-on "zombie" beforehand.  And, we weren't eating processed foods, so I can only imagine how someone that was eating that felt.  I know the cause of my 'zombie' feeling.  It was all the carbs.  Too many carbs.  We ate tons of oatmeal, white potatoes, rice and dairy.  Moderation?  We had none.  Sometimes one of those would be a meal, because it was easier.  If we liked it, we ate it 'til our belly buttons went from innies to outies.  No Bueno. 

Fast forward to today. 

We don't eat strict Paleo anymore.  We've incorporated carbs back in.  Both my husband and I were starting to feel very tired again and a lack of energy we once had.  I honestly didn't have answers as to why we were all of a sudden not feeling as good as we once did.  Is the fact that we wake up a trillion times in the middle of the night (so, basically we don't sleep) for a now very awake beautiful little girl the reason?  Maybe.  I was confused, nonetheless. 

Just within the last week, I had this crazy idea of wanting to compete in my very first Bikini Competition.  I know.  Crazy.  But I knew that with the dedication that I have for something that I want, I could get there and reach any goal I pin to myself.  I knew I needed to join a gym to reach this goal of mine because picture this: a very persistent two year old crying full blown tears because you can't pick him up in the middle of doing squats and having to cut them short because the crying is severely damaging your concentration (and your sanity), your three year old laying directly underneath you while you're trying to hold plank for just 10 more seconds while he laughs hysterically because he is so close you are practically touching noses and smelling each other's breath, and your four month old just so conveniently wakes up from her nap and wants out now... you can only imagine trying to work out with all that to be less than ideal or easy.  Some days, it's so bad, I have my shit packed ready to jet out the door the second my hubby walks in.  "See ya!!" 

So, my husband and I joined a gym the very next day.  We weren't complete hot messes, but we needed change. 

I also got myself a personal trainer.  I figured if I'm trying to get into the best shape of my life, I need a little help.  Ok, a lot.  I need a lot of help.  The first session with my trainer went great.  He didn't push me too hard as to not make me not want to ever return, but he knew by the look on my face by the third rep where I was, physically.  So far, it's been great.  I work out one day a week with my trainer and am dedicating myself to the gym at least five times a week with Saturday and Sunday as my rest days.  I'm following his nutrition plan and am doing right by it- as hard as it is when every time I open the pantry, the chocolate chips try to start a conversation with me.  Those little shits. 

I've done quite a bit of research on the competitions and every time I read about a success story where an average mom like myself decided to do something crazy like this, I get more and more inspired.  I'm so pumped to start this journey.  I hope this blog inspires you to live healthier and be happier.  I also hope it inspires you to get out of your comfort zone because as the saying goes "a comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there."  Do something that sounds crazy to you and everyone around you, just make sure it's safe and achievable. 

I know from my own experience how eating a much healthier lifestyle (while still enjoying my sweets and junk every now and then) has made me a completely different person, and not just physically.  I feel happier, more energized and ready to tackle another chaotic, fun and children-filled day with an endless amount of tears, boogers and tantrums to fill my heart to it's capacity.  I know you're jealous.  I just know it.

Here I'll share everything from a typical day in my never quiet house to my workouts to meals I cook for my family and everything in between.  I'll post before and after pictures throughout my journey to competing and what my meals and workouts are, strict to that.  So basically, it'll be a lot of random crap that I hope inspires you and makes you smile. 


                             "Love yourself enough to live a healthy lifestyle." 

Love,

Nicole